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A DAD’S POINT-OF-VIEW: TATTOOS, RAP AND SAGGY PANTS
by Bruce Sallan

The journey from child, to teen, to young adult to parent seems to have similar stops along the way for most everyone. My college years were during the “age of stupidity,” as a man I greatly respect refers to the ‘60s and early ‘70s. As a love-child and soon-to-be yuppie, I was thoroughly convinced that I would be a different parent to any children I might have than my parents were to me.

Naturally, I had all the answers. My parents’ tastes in music, fashion, and politics, my Mom’s helmet style hair-do which required weekly visits to the hair salon, were all stupid, old-fashioned, and ugly. It was inconceivable to me that they didn’t dig or see how groovy The Doors, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, or The Stones were. The fact that most of them died of drug overdoses escaped me at the time (e.g. Brian Jones of The Stones in case you think I’ve missed something). So what if Mick Jagger and his remaining crew still perform, in the their 60s, when our generation famously said not to trust anyone over thirty. It seems a lost irony on most of my AARP-aged contemporaries now.

So, when I became a parent, I was sure I’d appreciate and respect my children’s tastes because they’d probably just be the same as mine. I’d enjoy their music, their hairstyles, their fashions, etc. Of course, my brilliance and confidence about how I’d parent turned out differently. In essence, my parenting was just a repeat of my own parents’ experiences with me! As with most expectations, they disappoint.

First, there was rap. Then, tattoos and piercings. And, my favorite, wearing pants that fall down to the bottom of their butts. While my teen is not allowed to have tattoos, or piercings, he makes up for it by coming home with tattoo sleeves penned at school, in class, by various of his friends (bet you don’t know what that term means Okay, I won’t make you search on Google, as it won’t be in your dictionary…hmmm, when’s the last time your kid looked up a word in a dictionary or you did, for that matter? A tattoo sleeve, as the word sleeve implies, is a tattoo that covers the entire arm, up to the shoulder). Now, as a parent we all know that we have to pick our battles and my teen son knows that tattoos and piercings are not going to happen in our house. In spite of it being against our religion, he’d love to have a tongue piercing, a death skull tattoo or, at the very least huge pierced earrings, as many of his teen friends have at ages as young as 14.

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Independence Day
by A Dude's Guide on Jul 3rd

The aliens have arrived. We’ve found a signal in the static. It’s a countdown. I’m sure it’s nothing, though. They’d never have a saucer hovering over the White House if they meant us harm. Right?

Oops.

Well, I guess it’s a good thing I’m not talking about the movie, Independence Day, but rather about the holiday of the same name.

Yes, I love July 4th and not just because it’s a good day to blow stuff up. Well, a particularly good day to blow stuff up. I mean, let’s face it: every day is a good day to blow stuff up.

Quick question: Do they have July 4th in England? Not-so-quick answer: Yes, of course. It comes right between July 3rd and July 5th. They just don’t celebrate American independence day on July 4th. Heh. Trick question.

Anyway, I do love Independence Day. I’m not one of those “‘Murica, love it or leave it” types, but I do love this country. Despite all the flaws, it’s a great place to be. Let me paraphrase an old saying: America is the worst country in the world, excpet for all the others. Yes, our country’s face is full of warts, but it’s a nice face anyway. Especially now that we’re not actively torturing people. Sorry. Politics just slipped out.

Moving on. I love this country so much I’m willing to sacrafice any kind of important content so I can go out, cook on the grill, blow stuff up with the little dudes and eat Fresca Floats, which really are better than they sound.

You need to get out there as well. Go. Have fun.

– Richard

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A Dude's Guide is a supposed to be a funny and insightful look into what it takes for a Dude to be a better person. We are not saying that we are exceptional, insightful or funny people; but we try. We will use our experiences and adventures and misadventures to try to help other Dude's learn and contribute to this blog. Subscribe to A Dude's Guide blog for fatherhood advice and topics from Daddy Dudes!



Top News Headlines from CNN

'Serial killer' sought in South Carolina
The Cherokee County Sheriff's Office on Friday released a second sketch of a man believed to have fatally shot four people in less than a week near Gaffney, South Carolina. "Let me say that, under the FBI's definition of a serial killer, yes, we have a serial killer," Sheriff Bill Blanton said. In addition, Blanton said he did not know whether the shooter knew his victims or whether he may have chosen them at random.

Friday Jul 3rd, 6:57 PM

Palin: 'I know when it's time to pass the ball'
Sarah Palin said Friday that she will step down as Alaska's governor by the end of the month. She will not seek election to a second gubernatorial term in 2010. As the 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee, Palin had been considered one of the front-runners for the GOP nomination in 2012.

Friday Jul 3rd, 7:40 PM

Jackson memorial tickets available in lottery
Fans must register online for a lottery to win tickets to Tuesday's Michael Jackson memorial at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, organizers said. People who don't have one of the 17,500 free tickets to be handed out should stay away and watch on TV, officials said.

Friday Jul 3rd, 3:47 PM

Diprivan risk well-known to doctors
While authorities do not yet know what killed Michael Jackson, the possibility that anesthetics -- particularly the drug Diprivan -- might be involved continues to swell. Sources close to Jackson told CNN's Dr. Sanjay Gupta that the singer traveled with an anesthesiologist who would "take him down" at night and "bring him back up" during a tour in the mid-'90s.

Friday Jul 3rd, 5:08 PM

Report: North Korea test-fires more missiles
North Korea fired a pair of mid-range missiles toward the Sea of Japan, South Korea's Yonhap news agency reported Saturday.

Friday Jul 3rd, 6:05 PM


News from Ars Technica

Why Sony's PSP Go speed boost won't up the eye candy
SonyInsider dug up an FCC filing that indicates that the forthcoming PSP Go will have a significantly faster top processor speed than than current PSP models. Specifically, the Go's CPU can clock up to 480MHz, compared to the 333MHz speed of the existing models. The site ends the post by asking the obvious question: "What will a 480MHz PSP Go bring to the table?" I suspect the answer to this is, "Nothing that hasn't already been announced." Let me explain. Click here to read the rest of this article
Friday Jul 3rd, 12:34 PM

Are "deleted" photos really gone from Facebook? Not always
In an age where your boss, coworkers, parents, and even (*gasp*) grandparents are finally joining social networks, we are all more aware than ever that we had better keep things relatively clean. And if you were someone who joined MySpace, Facebook, Flickr, or a number of other sites years ago, you may have more cleaning up to do than usual—after all, back then, you were probably young(er) and dumb(er), posting silly pics of your drunken escapades or questionable updates regarding your unusual interest in English cucumbers. If you delete questionable images of yourself, you may be in the clear—or you may not, depending on the social network. As it turns out, some social networks delete your images right away while others hold onto them even after claiming they've been deleted. This was the discovery made by researchers at Cambridge University last month when they found that images deleted from social media sites are often left on the server, ripe for anyone to embed elsewhere or link up. We put this finding to the test and found that some of the most popular sites on the Internet do, in fact, keep images on their servers after you delete them. On May 21, 2009, we deleted photos from four of the networks most used by the Ars staff and readership and monitored them for six weeks. The four networks we checked were Flickr, Twitter, MySpace, and Facebook. Click here to read the rest of this article
Friday Jul 3rd, 9:32 AM

Game publisher Midway joins Time Warner empire for $33M
There's no denying that gaming publisher Midway has had a rough time in the past year. After an insane saga of strange twists, turns, accusations, and increasingly dire news, most of us weren't entirely certain that the beleaguered publisher would actually survive to see 2010. Despite our doubts, it turns out that Midway is living to see another day, having just been acquired by Time Warner for $33 million. For those of you new to the situation: after the company's much-hyped Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe earned lukewarm reviews and reasonable (though not amazing) sales numbers, Sumner Redstone sold his controlling interest in Midway for $100,000, and the publisher wound up laying off roughly 25 percent of its workforce and killed many games that were currently in development. It was then revealed that, even though employees weren't getting paid what was owed to them and the publisher was filing for bankruptcy, executives were still raking in a great deal of cash during all this. Click here to read the rest of this article
Friday Jul 3rd, 7:32 AM

Snowfall on Mars? NASA's Phoenix Lander recorded it
NASA's Mars Phoenix Lander, which spent the summer in Mars' northern polar regions performing a variety of science experiments, caused quite a stir when rumors circulated that it had discovered signs of life on the Red Planet. NASA eventually held a press conference to dispel the rumors, promising that more details would eventually be revealed when scientists got around to publishing papers that would describe the experiments in detail. That day has finally arrived; today's issue of Science contains four papers that describe various findings from the mission. There's no sign of alien life, but the studies do reveal an active water cycle on Mars—including night-time snowfall. The papers rely on evidence from a variety of the instruments on the lander, and the description of the data provides an impressive catalog of the various ways that Phoenix could prod and query the Martian pole. In the months before Martian winter shut the lander down, it managed to dig a dozen trenches, taking soil samples from each. These samples went into wet and dry chemistry labs, had their conductivity tested, and were even examined using an atomic force microscope. Meanwhile, cameras and a LIDAR system (a laser-based range detector) scanned the surroundings. Click here to read the rest of this article
Friday Jul 3rd, 5:05 AM

Phone ringtones a "public performance"? EFF, AT&T say no
It isn't often that you find AT&T and the Electronic Frontier Foundation in agreement, but consensus has been reached on one matter: ASCAP's demand that wireless companies pay it license fees for ringtones is, well, ridiculous.On Wednesday EFF called the move "outlandish" and "a ploy to squeeze more money out of the mobile phone companies." The advocacy group filed a friend of the court brief with the United States District Court for the Southern District New York this week, which is hearing the dispute between ASCAP, AT&T, and Verizon over whether the telcos have to pay the music licensing body royalties for wireless ringtones. Joining the amicus brief are Public Knowledge and the Center for Democracy and Technology. Meanwhile CTIA - The Wireless Association, to which the big telcos belong, has also filed an amicus brief in the case. Click here to read the rest of this article
Thursday Jul 2nd, 4:49 PM

 
Sports from USA Today

Venus will face Serena in Wimbledon final for 4th time
Venus Williams is just about the perfect older sibling: She supports Serena endlessly, protects her fiercely and even lets her ...
Friday Jul 3rd, 8:53 PM

Defending Nationwide champ Bowyer races to Daytona win
Clint Bowyer won the Nationwide Series race at Daytona International Speedway for his first victory of the year. The defending ...
Friday Jul 3rd, 7:21 PM

Johnson's 11th-inning double lifts Mariners over Red Sox
Rob Johnson doubled home two runs in the 11th inning and the Seattle Mariners beat the Boston Red Sox 7-6 on Friday night.
Friday Jul 3rd, 7:54 PM

Pujols hits club-record fourth slam in Cards' win
Albert Pujols hit his club-record fourth grand slam of the season, and Jarrett Hoffpauir drove in the go-ahead runs in the ninth ...
Friday Jul 3rd, 9:10 PM

AP: Turkoglu cuts off talks with Blazers
Free-agent forward Hedo Turkoglu and the Portland Trail Blazers have ended contract talks, a person close to the team confirmed ...
Friday Jul 3rd, 6:02 PM


Working Parents from BusinessWeek

Elder Care and the Generational Squeeze: High-Stress?and Welcome

Call it the generational vise: canceling Father?s Day with my fast-declining 93-year-old dad because my 11-year-old came down with the flu. Stressful, definitely. Heart-wrenching, yes. Welcome? Of course. Despite all the juggling and hard choices that have to be made about competing demands for care, I?d rather be stuck in this vise than face the void of the alternative.


Thursday Jul 2nd, 11:45 AM

Our Kids Keep Getting Fatter. What to Do?

More grim news on the obesity front. An annual survey of obesity in America found that adult obesity rates increased in 23 states last year, and did not fall in a single state. Adult obesity now exceeds 25% in 31 states, and two-thirds of adults are considered overweight or obese. Worst of all, the survey also looked at children age 10-17 and found that 30% or higher are overweight or obese in 30 states. 30 states! The rate of obesity in US children has more than tripled since 1980.


Wednesday Jul 1st, 1:49 PM

How Would You Ration Health Care?

As the debate over health care reform heats up in Washington, the rhetoric around health care rationing grows more vitriolic. Conservative commentators, such as those writing op-eds for the Wall Street Journal, paint a frightening picture of the world under "Obama-Care," a world where we would all stand in long lines to get whatever care the state deems reasonable. At the other extreme are the advocates for a massive healthcare overhaul who insist that a single-payer system would end the waste and inefficiencies now rife in our present system, leaving more than enough money to provide optimal care to all the people, all the time.


Tuesday Jun 30th, 3:12 AM

Perfect Babysitter? When Granny is the Nanny

Do you wish your parents would help with babysitting, financial support or even picking up your dry cleaning?


Monday Jun 29th, 2:04 PM

Why Working Mothers Face a Pay Gap

When the subject of motherhood is combined with work, the conversation can get nasty and divisive as evidenced by the comments to my recent post The Motherhood Penalty: Working Moms Face Pay Gap Vs. Childless Peers.


Friday Jun 26th, 11:30 AM


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